To be honest, I don’t really get that many fantasy football invites anymore because I’m not that good and people know my response.
My response hasn’t changed though.
So in a much needed turn to the light and not too serious, here’s my response to your invite.

Regarding your fantasy football invite,
I must respectfully decline.
I neither know, nor can fathom how one drafts right
Let alone how one’s to assign
Positions each week in and out
Which players, who’ll really play,
Aren’t injured, or by-ed but playing this week’s bout
To set my roster before each game day.
I’m terrible at reality let alone the unreal
Of a fantasy league that relies on stats
My fantasy life have done more than steal
It’s left my belfry overwhelmed with bats.
So I’d rather not join your fantasy football league
I’m just trying to recover from my fantasy failure fatigue.

© Randy Edwards 2016
picture: Sandusky High School Football Team 1906.
photo credit: Sandusky Library/Follett House Museum.

In a side note, I believe my Great-Great Uncle Harry is holding the football. He went on to play at Kenyon College.

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