Love as gift, part two

“Does our culture have an unhealthy relationship with porn? Has it diminished our view of women, relationships, and sex in general?”—the simplest response is, yes: It has systematically warped most young men’s ability to give and receive love freely. It has disabled their ability to offer themselves as a gift, and it has crippled their ability to receive authentic love in return. At its heart, pornography usage is an offense against love, and thus is an offense against the real persons (including, first and foremost, ourselves) who we love or will love in the future. In this light, pornography usage is also an offense against gratitude and humility, without which love is not authentic. If we want to love our wives or girlfriends (present or future) perfectly, viewing pornography is entirely antithetical to that wish, because it harms our capacity to be givers and recipients of love. It violates the norm of exclusivity, which is expressive of a romantic love infused with caritas.

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