Top Ten

From the home office in East Brumsick, NC, it’s the Top Ten Least Popular Church Outreach Programs from the Book of Judges.

10. Pass out bobble head idols with the church name and address with the invite, “Come one, Come Baal!”

9. Delilah billboard campaign in which she asks passing motorists, “Hey strongman, wanna tell me a secret?”

8. Pass out WWED bracelets. (What would Ehud do?)

7. Sponsor the Gideon Leadership Conference: Learn to lap your water like a dog.

6. Group Singing with Jael, “If I Had a Hammer,” “Hammer and Nail,” etc…

5. Sponsor a benefit 10K road race: Wives for the Benjaminite’s Fun Run.

4. Host “Tola’s Parenting Seminar: My Dad’s Dodo.”

3. Put on the musical pageant, “30 Donkeys for 30 Sons”

2. Offer a city walk with Jephthah’s mother.

1. Offer the Samson’s one-night stand -up comedy school’s: “How not to die on stage,” “Kill ’em Laughing,” and “Bringing Down the House.”

This entry was posted in Bible, Humor by randamir. Bookmark the permalink.

About randamir

I pastor Grace Presbyterian Church in Kernersville, North Carolina which locals fondly refer to as K-vegas -- the town not the church. As D.T. Niles once said, "I am not important except to God."

2 thoughts on “Top Ten

  1. OH, THAT’s TOO RICH!!!How ’bout:A conference for those of the opposite sex who really feel that they have the gift of leadership. All men are encouraged to attend and will be given a workbook that goes with Deborah’s best selling book: “Men, You Can’t Get Them to Lead, and You Can’t Drive a Tent Peg Through Their Temples”.


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